OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
