Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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