Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
