Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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