dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
