She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
