I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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