I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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