Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it because I queefed?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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