Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
