okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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