I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
