I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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