I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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