then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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