ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
