So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
