She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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