Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
