Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
even my farts smell like vagina
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
