He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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