it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
