check it out our google latitudes are spooning
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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