What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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