Dual....:-)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
