he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
