Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
