Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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