So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You ate ashes out of my bong
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
