when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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