my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
