Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
