I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You may now shotgun with the bride
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
