it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
