he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
