Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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