You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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