is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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