I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
