people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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