There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
