her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
