my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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