i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
