Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize