Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
