Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
