Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
