You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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