I will die if light touches me.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
No subtext here. People are naked.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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