I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
