from now on my penis is your penis
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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