Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
