who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
