Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
