I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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