Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
