Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize