went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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