Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
