Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
