YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
