Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i drank out of a bidet.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
