I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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